Pulse
by MardelizSnape
Summary: During a potions class, Neville makes another mistake with his potion and Hermione ends up deeply asleep. She continues growing up but unable to wake up and is under the care of Severus Snape, while the war and other lives continue.
1. Prologue

_Pulse_.

She wasn't exactly dead…

But she wasn't exactly alive either…

What was she then?

0ooo0ooo0ooo0

He couldn't believe it the first time he saw and heard it from Poppy Pomfrey, but within days it had become like a routine. He would visit the infirmary, check Hermione's vital signs and sit next to her, reading a book or just watching the rise and fall of her chest while she remained in a deep sleep.

"Do you think that he feels guilty about it, Minerva?" Poppy whispered a few beds away, looking at them with great sadness. "He comes every day at the same hour and leaves at the same hour. He just sits there silently, as if he were expecting a miracle to happen!"

"I can't tell if he feels guilty. This terrible accident did happen during one of his classes, but it certainly isn't his fault. At least, not directly..." The elder witch said sombrely, frowning a little bit. "I do hope this experience helps him to realize that he can't continue scaring his students to death. Albus asked him to watch over her and as much as he despises everything and everyone around him, he shouldn't refuse. Every time Longbottom sees him, he shakes like a jelly and I am sure that all the pressure that he puts on the poor boy helped to cause this accident". Minerva sighed heavily. "It's so sad. Longbottom feels so bad about it that he's more nervous than ever. Some of his classmates have started to act oddly around him and, like Severus, he comes every day to check on her. He feels terribly guilty for _"killing" Hermione Granger."_

"I can still remember what happened and it gives me goosebumps all over." The medi-witch shivered, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. "Another simple potion class which the poor boy managed to convert into a unmitigated disaster".

"The worst thing was telling her parents. I mean, she's their only daughter and now she's in a deep sleep, without any possibility of waking up again."

"She was a beautiful young witch, smarter than any other that I've seen before. Almost like you. _Or…Lily_." Poppy's voice broke a little, blinking a few tears away. "Potter and Weasley also feel terribly guilty. Before all this happened, they had some differences with her. I think that the Weasley boy had some kind of argument with her and she was crying. That was what the other girls said…"

The women sighed and turned their attention to the professor, sitting next to the young witch, watching her intently.

 _The saddest accident ever_ …


	2. Survivor guilt

**AN:** Thanks to my beta Regina for being patient and helping me as much as posible. More notes at the end of the chapter, and decided to reduce the amount of chapters into just the prologue and the whole past explanation and feelings of Neville, Snape, etc etc, and start working from there. Sorry for the issues!

 _ **Survivor guilt**_

 _"A deep feeling of guilt often experienced by those who have survived some catastrophe that took the lives of many others"._

0oooo0oooo0ooo0

It didn't matter how many times Severus Snape shook his head to keep himself awake, he kept slumbering in the chair next to the bed where Hermione Granger remained deeply asleep.

Almost hours seemed to pass really slowly these days and it felt like decades, just hiding inside a little cabin closer to the Hogwarts grounds. It felt almost like living with whatever the woods could provide, even with the castle a few meters away, trying to keep the faith that the situation would improve in the near future.

It sounded a bit silly that nobody went to look for them in there, but he kept praying for a bit more luck to remain unnoticed.

It didn't matter how many times he tried to shake his head to keep himself awake, he still felt like he was living inside in one of his worst nightmares.

That damn accident and then… Potter and Weasley were dead. No wonder why Hermione Granger got the title of _"The brains of the trio"._

Stupid brats...

Fighting without a good plan and just listening to their _"brave hearts"_ , forgetting to use their brains just for once.

Maybe he had to give a bit of credit to the Weasley boy. He came up with a few good ideas at the end, but they were poorly executed…

"Professor Snape… sir?" just a little whisper and a cold hand touching his shoulder almost had him jumping out of the chair, not really expecting any visit at that hour of the night. He seriously hated the damn deep silence in the woods where every little noise had him jumping on his feet and getting his wand out, only to end up scaring little squirrels or any other animal that came around.

Poppy Promfrey stood behind him, looking really pale and tired, making him wonder if the situation in the castle had got any worse. He was still a teacher there, but every time that he left the castle using a little passage in his own private chambers, during midnights and these free hours when he wasn't teaching, he got the horrible idea that the place could end up burned with every single student and staff member inside during his absence, and then he would be the one to blame for not being there and supporting the resistance.

The woman quickly unbuttoned her black cloak and walked straight to the young witch lying on the bed, while the black eyes of the potions professor followed every one of her movements. There was a tiny pause where the head of Slytherin wondered if he had to start any kind of conversation or just keep watching.

"Yes? What's the matter, Poppy?"

"I'm sorry to scare you like this, but Professor McGonagall sent me to check if there was any change…" the woman replied without even looking at him, placing one of her hands over Hermione's forehead like if she were trying to check her temperature.

"No change since the accident in the fifth year". His voice was barely audible, like a little whisper coming from the dancing flames of the fireplace standing a few centimeters from them. "And I'm not exactly sure that there will be any change at all. We have tried everything we could and there has been no improvement. I asked Longbottom about it, so many times, that I think that we will end driving him mad and then losing our last hope of defeating the Dark Lord".

"The poor boy feels terrible! Totally excluded during his school years and then forced to see his friends die, constantly being told that everything was his fault. Maybe Hermione was an important part of the solution, but that doesn't mean that we should torture him for this!"

 _Funny…_

It started like any other potion class. He could remember himself just walking around the cauldrons and laughing at Gryffindor, supported by his own Slytherin students.

Nothing new, nothing to worry about.

Except for just one little thing…

Longbottom making another of his failed attempts at brewing a decent sample.

 _He fucked it up and fucked it up really bad._

All that he could remember was the fumes coming out from his cauldron, whistling madly. Suddenly the entire classroom was covered with a disgusting red smoke and every single student inside, started to scream while trying to escape and save their lives. He couldn't see too well in the middle of the disaster, but suddenly he noticed the body of Hermione Granger lying on the floor and apparently unconscious.

No matter how many times he followed the "steps" of the boy, the girl kept deeply asleep and then everything got worse.

At first, Minerva kept saying that it was just an accident and that for sure there was another cure, somewhere. A spell or maybe another potion to counteract the effects of the first one, but soon he realized that maybe there wasn't anything that they could do to fix it.

Day after day, Neville Longbottom started to isolate himself and started to be excluded by his own friends. He usually sat alone in every class or meal, even when Minerva tried to encourage her students to have faith that the things would get better.

But it simply never happened. He could still remember the day when they had to talk with her parents about it. Dumbledore made it feel like a normal… "happens every day" thing, but the truth literally killed them. For days, they discussed the destiny of Neville Longbottom and the Ministery of Magic decided that he had to be expelled.

 _"If Rubeus Hagrid was expelled because of the Chamber of Secrets, then the boy has to be expelled for killing a student!"_ That was the argument they used in front of a really disappointed old woman that he was pretty sure, never expected to face that terrible moment in her entire life.

He knew about his parents in St. Mungo. He knew about Bellatrix Lestrange and everything that the Longbottoms suffered thanks to her…

He seriously tried to see the funny side of the situation, but at the end he couldn't do it.

There wasn't anything to laugh at.

"It still amazes me how her hair keeps growing! It's so pretty and abundant!" the medi- witch smiled, running one of her hands softly through her long curls, while seated next to her in bed and helping him to stop thinking in the worst for a moment. "It seems like I will have to cut it again soon".

"Granger isn't dead…" she barely heard the professor's voice, over the sound of a spoon mixing what it seemed like black tea on a cup. "Her hair and everything else will keep growing as if she were awake and perfectly normal". The head of Slytherin made a tiny pause and then added, reflexively, staring at the dancing flames of the fireplace. "Now that I think of it… there wasn't any reason to kick Longbottom out of the school". "She's obviously alive so… Longbottom didn't kill anybody".

"I know... I know…" the woman sighed heavily, whispering a soft "thank you" for the warm cup of tea that Snape handled to her and looked down at the young girl, lying motionless in the middle of the bed. "Hermione Granger was the smartest witch of her age and definitely didn't deserve to end like this". She paused to give a few sips of her tea, trying to swallow a hard lump in her throat that came with the memories. "I still can't understand how all this thing happened…"

He couldn't understand it either and her words immediately sent him back to that dark past again.

Two years ago, Albus Dumbledore asked him to teach Occlumency to the spoiled Potter brat. Somehow the Dark Lord noticed the connection in between their thoughts and it was his job to teach him how to close his mind from external penetration. Or in the case of Potter, internal penetration.

It didn't make any difference anyways and it felt like a valuable time lost. The boy was really stubborn about it and for sure made him feel special; being the only one capable of knowing what the Dark Lord was thinking.

Knowledge that didn't work for anything, once the Dark Lord understood how to use it against the boy. Dolores Umbridge ended being the headmistress of Hogwarts and after suppressing all the defense classes, the students were an easy target for any death eater.

Nobody seemed capable to stop her and without Granger around, there wasn't any common sense that could avoid Potter and Weasley to fall into the Dark Lord's trap or at least, learn some defenses first. A fake thought that Sirius Black was being captured and tortured inside the Department of Mysteries, so that he could attract the boy to a prophecy that he couldn't finish hearing years ago, was just enough to send them directly to the Ministery of Magic and into a useless fight.

Of course that for Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy, a bunch of untrained kids, weren't a real treat and soon they had the battle turned into their favor.

He wasn't really sure of how the other students survived enough to be saved by Dumbledore, but Potter and Weasley didn't had the same luck and ended as dead as Black did after being hit by an Avada Kedavra from his cousin Bellatrix and falling inside the veil.

No doubt that Potter was as good duelist like his father, but he didn't count with Voldemort appearing in the middle of the battle.

He heard the story from the lucky students that survived and as much as he tried to believe in all these compliments that Albus and the other professors used to say about the boy, he kept believing that he didn't had anything special at all and all his past victories against the darkness, were just pure luck and friends help. Potter didn't have enough training and the fact that Albus tried to ignore him, the entire school term, didn't help either and soon he was dead and joining his parents into the heavens.

He seriously loathed Black, but really preferred to have him alive if that could change in anything, the terrible present they had now.

From there, everything just went as worst as possible. Albus Dumbledore tried to destroy one of the Horcruxes to try to stop Voldemort anyways and ended cursed, with a foot on his grave. He did everything he could to stop the curse and trap it into his hand, but the Dark Lord had a plan and soon Draco Malfoy was happy to oblige.

He could tell that the headmaster felt really guilty after what happened in the Department of Mysteries and seemed a bit careless about his own life and what he represented to the magical community. His death could signify the loss of the last hope to stop his master from conquering everything around, but Dumbledore was much more worried about the soul of the only son of the Malfoys.

 _"Kill me and help me to save Draco". "I'm pretty sure that he doesn't want to do it. That the boy is really scared"._

 _"Please… Severus…"_

It didn't matter how much he tried to forget these images, the green light and his body falling from the astronomy tower, kept haunting his restless dreams.

And of course, nobody believed that Albus Dumbledore was trying to save the magical community and ended blamed of conspiracy, of making an army against the Ministery of Magic and the actual minister. And also, for the death of Harry James Potter and Ronald Billius Weasley. Rita Skeeter wrote the entire article, once she got away from Hermione's trap and he never felt that sick by just reading an article on a newspaper.

Dolores Umbridge returned to the school as the headmistress and he was a part of a resistance movement that worked secretly under her nose.

"The secret of a good haircut is the study of the shape of your face" he heard the voice of Poppy Promfey and blinked a few times to return from his thoughts. He wasn't sure of how much time passed, but for him felt like two more years just by thinking in everything that happened since then. The cabin in the woods was almost like their only place to hide and obviously that the girl had to be there.

"Would you like to know… how to do it, professor?" the woman kindly asked, pointing her wand at Hermione and levitating her to a sitting position. "I'm pretty sure that is a task that you will end liking and it will help you to distract a little from everything that happens in the school. Maybe you could talk to her a bit, while cutting her hair. Or read something. I've heard that in this case, most of the patients can hear what we are saying and even think about it".

But he wasn't precisely there, to learn how to cut the hair of a young girl. He barely kept his multiple roles balanced and was scared to make any wrong move and destroy everything he worked for.

He was the potions professor, the head of Slytherin, a spy and also a death eater. He had no time to learn how to cut hair or give the proper care to a young and deeply asleep witch. He had better things to do.

"Have you talked with Longbottom lately?" He suddenly asked, his expression was unreadable in the middle of the soft lights of the fireplace and the candles around. The cabin had enough size for two people to live there, with two beds, a wardrobe, a nice bathroom, a kitchen and windows with white silky curtains, chairs, tables. Everything anyone could ask to have a decent and quiet life.

"Not really…." The medi witch sighed deeply. "I think that Minerva still writes to his grandma when Dolores Umbridge isn't around and the last thing I knew was that she still doesn't know where he is. He must be hiding somewhere after your last letter, asking him what he put on the potion back then". "The boy is really scared after all what happened with Granger, Potter and Weasley. He used to visit her every day like you and offer his help in whatever we needed to bring her back. I think that the only one that hasn't turned her back to him is this girl…" She thought in the name for a moment. "Miss Lovegood…" "Yes, she sure knows where he is. Sure they keep any sort of contact".

 _Neville Longbottom._

Before ending expelled, the boy used to visit Granger every day. He brought her flowers or any other gift that Snape thought, meant any kind of apology. He tried to remain friendly and also tried to convince his classmates and the other students from the rest of the houses, that he was the same boy of everyday, but failed miserably.

Day after day, Longbottom was left alone and Severus noticed a slightly change in his behavior. He was much more scared than before but also started to develop a new personality that felt a bit familiar.

 _Hate…_

 _Anger…_

 _Depression._

Somehow, he saw his own reflex and didn't like the view _._ And as much as Snape wanted to deny it, he had another thing in common with the boy that he noticed during the accident of Hermione. He indeed enjoyed the company of someone else during these long nights or _"having friends"_ , like others would call it. He started to enjoy having someone to talk with and to exorcise his own demons, slowly sharing what bothered him. Of course that Hermione Granger really didn't count as company since she was deeply asleep and he didn't want to start sharing all his life's story with her, out of nowhere, but Poppy Promfey offered him a strange sense of relief that he never experienced before and slowly started to open himself to her.

"Well… what do you think of her new haircut?" Poppy said suddenly, in a cheerful tone "I always thought that she would wake up any time soon, so she had to look really cute. You know… to cheer her up a bit". Severus simply raised his head and stopped staring into his glass of firewhisky, shrugging. "She will receive so many bad news after waking up, that I'm afraid she will end really depressed and wishing to be back in bed".

"I think that it looks great" neither his voice nor his face betrayed any emotions, but Poppy smiled anyways. Her new haircut wasn't really different from the past one, but her hair was indeed shorter than before and perfectly showed the shape of her face, like the woman said.

"Fantastic!" She added, casting a cleaning spell over the bed. "May I ask you a favor, professor?"

"What is it?"

"Could you check the grounds around the house and the lake?" Snape frowned a bit, so she didn't meet his intense gaze and looked away, awkwardly. "Professor McGonagall wants to make sure that the cabin still remains undiscovered. So far, Dolores Umbridge only knows one little cabin in the forest and that's Hagrid's cabin. We have to make sure that the protective spells are still there".

"How so?" He asked, scrutinizing her with his black eyes in a way that made Poppy feel like another child from his class. "Did she notice something wrong?"

"Nothing so far, but Professor McGonagall suggested that we should do it as soon as possible, so we would make sure that any snitcher would come across with the cabin".

Silent fell over the room and after this has gone on for a few minutes, Poppy thought that she had to say it again.

"Very well, I will be back as soon as possible". He gave a quick glance to the clock hanged over the fireplace. 2 am in the morning, but he didn't like to sleep anyways. "If I'm not back as I said, then send a Patronus to Hagrid with orders to stay with Granger and go back to the castle and make sure that everything is alright there".

"Of course, Professor Snape". He heard Poppy whispering softly, once he turned his back to her. "Just be careful please".

He nodded and as soon as he felt his wand inside the pockets of his teaching robes, he walked straight to the front door. Placing his hand on the door knob, he gave a quick glance around the room and then walked into the deep silence of the woods that surrounded the little cabin.

For some odd reason he felt really anxious about walking outside in the middle of the night. He felt like if tons of eyes were watching every little movement he made, just waiting for the best moment to get him with his guards down. He just gave a few steps away from the cabin, suddenly hypnotized by the fireflies flying around him and somehow ended in front of the lake that surrounded the school grounds.

Memories suddenly came to his mind from these old times where he used to visit the lake to study and to escape from Potter and his stupid friends and then, felt suddenly comforted by the full moon and its light, reflexed over the quiet water.

Why everything couldn't be like that peaceful night?

And then… _Minerva_...

He had somehow, mixed feelings for her. He knew how affected she was after the death of Albus Dumbledore, Potter and Weasley and letting aside the fact that she never trusted him from the beginning, he felt that he owed her a lot and that he should spend most of these nights of insomnia, thinking in how to compensate her for every fight that they had.

"Everything alright, Professor?" he was startled by a quiet voice that felt like a whisper coming from the wind around him.

"Everything good… Firenze". Severus said, standing up after kneeing for a bit to feel some wet dirt in between his long fingers. He wasn't really accustomed to talk with the creatures inside the forbidden forest, but he thought that he had to be as polite as possible, cleaning his hand with his wand. "I didn't know that Minerva let the centaurs pass through the protective charms".

"She actually didn't, professor Snape". The centaur gave a little kick with his legs in the air and the head of Slytherin felt a bit uncomfortable. "Professor McGonagall casted the spells around our domains, after Hagrid talked with me and the other centaurs about a secret place that needed to be protected". "She knows that we already live here and she respects our territory. She kindly asked me for protection and I will help as much as possible to defeat the darkness".

"A smart move". Snape said softly, looking around and making sure that there weren't any enemies lurking around the woods before mentioning. "Minerva will need all the help she could get, from every wizard or creature that wishes to fight against the Dark Lord's twisted desires".

"The other centaurs and me, never saw a sky as grey as this one tonight". Firenze added, looking directly to the sky above them. "The dark magic is killing everything around and covering it with big black clouds. The air around the castle feels heavy and full of sadness and the winds carry the sound of tears and screams of pain and misery…"

And then, he remembered why he didn't like to talk with magical creatures. All the relaxing feelings he got from the lake, felt like suddenly drained from his body by the words of the centaur standing in front of him.

He didn't like to remember what the air or the sky used to be before the accident, but sometimes he just wished to obliviate himself and forget everything and everyone.

But he knew that he couldn't do it.

Albus Dumbledore trusted him to _"save"_ the world.

000ooo000ooo000

"So… you sent Severus away?" Poppy heard the voice of Albus Dumbledore, from the only portrait hung out in the living room.

"I had to." She glanced at the clock over the fireplace. "3 am. He usually sleeps, once he has patrolled enough to be physically exhausted from a long night with no dreams."

"I see. So, you are worried for him."

"Of course, I am!" The medi-witch replied immediately, staring at Hermione Granger. "He's paler than usual, which is saying a lot considering his normal skin tone." She sighed deeply. "I'm pretty sure that he has been feeling… guilty since the accident." And she ended whispering; remembering her earlier words that maybe Hermione could listen and internalize her words.

"Sadly… he indeed must be feeling guilty. Harry died and he promised me and someway promised Lily too, that he would take care of her son. And he failed…"

"Poor boy…" She added, trying not to cry. "He must be feeling terrible!"

"I will return as soon as Severus is back. Let me know when that happens. Perhaps I could speak with him and give him some sort of motivation."

"Yes, that would be perfect. I'm uncertain that he has lost that motivation, but it could help him to understand that we support him and care about him. You are usually good at that."

Albus chuckled softly before replying. "Severus has the strange ability to twist every word to his purpose."

"Yeah, "She couldn't help and giggled at what she would say next. "Oh, my…he's definitely stubborn all the time!"

"He can't help it. He had a hard life so far…"

After that little talk with Firenze, Severus felt mentally exhausted. Truth be told he just wanted to take a dreamless potion and just lie on the bed till he had to go back to the castle. As soon as he reached the door knob to go back inside, he looked for his wand inside his pockets and mumbled a spell to make sure that Poppy Pomfrey knew that he was about to enter.

"Amicus" As soon as he savored the word in his lips, immediately thought of that despicable death eater and his sister, but quickly pushed these thoughts away. Focusing on the spell that was coming from the tip of his wand, instead. Like a tiny red glow that immediately glowed in Pomfrey's wand.

He entered as soon as he saw the light through the window.

"Everything okay, professor?" The woman asked gently, getting up from one of the chairs next to Hermione and walking to the kitchen to get him another glass of fire whiskey.

"Everything okay." Before the woman could handle him another glass, he refused by shaking one of his hands and headed to other bed next to Hermione. He usually slept just the necessary, but he felt so damn tired that he had a challenging time keeping his eyes open.

"You look tired." Poppy said pointing out the obvious and trying to coax him to sleep. Severus suppressed a yawn, smiling sardonically. – Bravo, captain obvious! - He thought, resting his head on the pillows. "Actually, like if you were about to catch a bug or something… A bit pale."

"That's hard to say because pale is my normal skin color." He replied with a bit of bitterness in his voice and she scoffed a little. "But yes, perhaps I am little tired and actually could take a nap."

"Oh!" she said, feigning surprise and walked quickly to the portrait in the living room. Remembering Albus's wishes of speak with him first. It seemed empty but as soon as she stopped in front of it, a figure inside the painting seemed to walk in her direction. "Hello, Albus." She happily smiled and he did the same, nodding.

"Poppy, Severus."

"Professor Snape feels rather tired and could use some sleep. Could you stay and watch him and Hermione, while I'm not here? If something happens please let me know immediately and I will be back as soon as possible." She said a bit matter of fact, trying to sound as if it were their first time talking that night.

"Don't worry, Poppy, I will take care of them. Now go back to the castle and please say hi to Filius if you see him. He was telling me an interesting story about the origins of the dragons and sadly I had to interrupt him to come and check on you two and Hermione, obviously."

Snape growled softly in bed and Albus chuckled, understanding the meaning as if it were saying something like: _"But nobody actually told you to come anyways…"_

"I'm sure that he will finish that story later. He likes that, you know? He's a bit too chatty for my like but sometimes tells nice stories. Good night, Albus. Professor…"

But Severus wasn't listening and was staring at the ceiling, trying to concentrate enough to not fall asleep so easily. It sure sounded a bit silly, but he needed a sort of preparation. A kind of night ritual before falling into the arms of Morpheus that consisted of pushing away any guilty or depressing thought, and just think of the few good memories he had. He even thought about the use of a dreamless potion, but exhaustion consumed him to the point where making the trip through the portrait to his private chambers for the little bottle was too daunting a task.

How bad his dreams could be that reality wasn't anyway?

"What a beautiful night, don't you think?" He heard the distant voice of Albus's portrait and shrugged.

"Funny, Firenze thinks otherwise. For him, the sky is all gray and covered with black clouds. The wind carrying the sound of tears, agony, and misery."

"I don't have the blessing of the third eye like him or Sybill. I guess that my appreciation of the sky isn't as correct as his."

"With that you mean normal, right?"

Albus chuckled into his portrait, looking at the young professor's slim form from the living room. He heard his yawns and raised one of his eyebrows. He thought about it for a minute, but he couldn't remember his young pupil feeling that tired like that night.

"It's something troubling you, Severus?"

"Oh, nothing at all, what makes you think that!?" Sarcastically said, mimicking his eyebrow lifting. "Just Granger here…" He pointed with a slender pale finger. "Deeply asleep till Merlin knows when. Potter and Weasley dead thanks to their stupid "brave Gryffindor spirits". Yourself dead because you couldn't wait for me to find out what was inside that blasted ring, before trying to destroy it in such stupid and definitely not heroic way, as you may think it was…Seriously…What makes you think that there is something troubling me!?"

"That's what I thought." Albus simply smiled even with the expression of evident sarcasm that the young professor had all over his face. "But you should understand that nothing of this is your fault."

"Of course, that is my fault!" Severus yelled, opening his arms wide and hitting the bed in the process with his palms as an expression of despair. "I couldn't even teach something to that Longbottom boy, so maybe I'm entirely useless to teach anything to any student and now I'm starting to worry that this could happen again and that we end killing the next chosen one!"

"You know perfectly that that isn't really true. You have to admit that maybe you were a bit too harsh with the boy and that could have caused the accident."

"Thank you for helping me to see it more clearly!" He growled, turning to face the wall and giving his back to the portrait.

"Don't act like if you were a child, Severus. You know that it was just an accident. Actually, it could be more like a chain of reactions than just a simple accident."

"Anyways, if you are still thinking of staying, please just be quiet and let me sleep. You know how much it takes to suppress any emotions before actually acquiring a decent amount of slumber, so I would really appreciate if you wouldn't say anything else."

"Of course, Severus, as you wish".

"Thank you."

He thought that after that talk, that it would be difficult to get some rest, but it took him less time than he expected. He event felt somewhat relaxed just by talking about what bothered him. But the nightmares soon joined him in his first few hours of rest, resulting in tossing and turning. It was the most lucid dream he had ever encountered.

 _I'm so sorry. Please, Lily… listen to me! I'm… I'm sorry! I tried to protect him…"_

Suddenly his cheeks stained with tears.

 _"I tried everything I could…"_

 _"No! Please… don't go! Don't leave me here!"_

But as much as he pleaded and tried to chase her in his dreams, Lilly kept levitating far away from his reach. Always just beyond it, in fact.

 _"Please stop! You can't be angry with me forever, you have to forgive me one day!"_

 _"Lily!"_

And as soon as he tried to run after her, something warm tickled his nose enough to startle him and make him jump in bed.

It was just a cat. Hermione's cat, Crookshanks, to be exact.

He looked at the bright light on the windows and then awkwardly glanced at the clock over the fireplace. It was seven a.m. and he felt so dizzy already.

The cat seemed happy of finally wake him up and confirmed it with a little "Meow", before yawning and just curling itself on his lap to sleep a bit more.

"Oh, for sure that I woke you up with my nightmares." He complained to the cat, but the only answer he got was a tiny movement of its tail. "But I guess that I should thank you for waking me up anyways".

For god's sake! He was talking to a damn cat and worse, the cat seemed happy of just sleep over his belly and wasn't the least bit scared of him like everyone else. In fact, this was the first time that the cat had come to the cabin after his owner's accident.

He thought that the animal missed her and wasn't ready to see her in such state. But of course, he was talking about cats.

And somehow, he felt that the feline he had on his lap, wasn't really a regular one. It had something that made it different from the others.

"Good lord…" Severus whispered, putting his head back on the pillows, cleaning his face with one of his hands. "Worst nightmare ever, that's for sure."

"Meep…"

"You have two choices." He answered to the cat over his belly. "Stay and sleep or go somewhere else. It's too early yet to get up and eat."

"Meeeeeep…."

"I'm not Minerva; I can't speak your language."

But the cat simply untangled itself and stirred, snuggling closer and softly licking his chin.

"Wha… stop it now!" He tried to push the cat away, but it didn't help as it had the claws firmly gripping the bedsheets. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? Are you a female cat or something!? I'm not a potential partner so you can stop it right now!"

"It's just trying to comfort you, Severus." He heard McGonagall's voice and immediately jumped to a sitting position, blushing softly. "Somehow the cat must think that you needed a hug and it's trying to give you one. Or… some kind of affection."

00oo00oo00

 _Amicus:_ Latin translation of the word _friend._

 **AN:** Thanks to my wonderful beta Regina, for all the help, betaing my fan fic! And also thanks to TycheSong for helping me to see my syntax mistakes and guide me to take the decisión of merging the chapters I had into prologue and past (withouth separating them and make them a lenghty one) and to start from there. I have to stop my fear of make serious mistakes and stop cutting the chapters, for fear to continue. I will work in my confidence. Sorry for the issues guys ;(.


	3. Hermione Jean Granger

**AN:** I do hope that you guys like the new chapter. My awesome beta haven't seen it yet because like with the other chapter, I'm proving myself to see how much I can improve before send it to her. Please tell me if you spot any mistake and don't forget to tell me what you think. I would like to read your ideas, opinions, or whatever else you have to say.

But don't forget to be polite with them!

 _ **Hermione Jean Granger**_

After a quick cleaning spell, Severus Snape finally got up from the bed and walked into the living room to find Minerva McGonagall sitting in one of the chairs and waiting for him with two cups of tea over the table. He sat in the opposite chair, nodding and taking the offered cup, noticing the worried look on her face and wondering if the day couldn't start any worse.

"Sorry for coming without telling you first". Her voice was barely audible and he noticed that she didn't raise her head to meet his eyes, staring at her cup of tea. "I have to tell you something really important and I thought that it had to be in private".

"What is it?" He inquired, noticing her shaking hands and her trembling lips while she tried to take another sip of her tea but failed, returning the cup to the table and simply meeting his dark gaze. "What's wrong, Minerva? Why you look so... _terrified?_

"These death eaters…" She started, shaking her head a few times. "Alecto… she almost killed a student after one of her lessons. She called him to her office because he did something that she didn't like during her class. "

But she didn't expect what happened next.

She couldn't remember watching Snape having such reaction like that, getting up so fast, throwing the chair backwards and spilling his cup of tea all over the table, standing beside it with his muscles clenched in consternation and his hands closed into fists.

"Lessons!? That's how you call it now!?" he yelled and she swallowed with difficult, avoiding his intense gaze. Actually it took her a few seconds, before she could continue.

"A Gryffindor student offered himself to suffer the Cruciatus curse, instead of a young Hufflepuff girl that Alecto wanted to torture that day. In her opinion, every Hufflepuff student meant nothing more than lab rats and deserved to suffer just for existing. Of course that she didn't like his _"stupid Gryffindor courage"_ and told him that he had to see her after diner, because he was in detention."

He shook his head, jaw clenched fiercely and hissing in frustration.

"That piece of shit…" He snarled, staring at her. "Let me guess… first year students?"

"Yes."

"Of course." He mumbled under his clenched teeth. Minerva seemed to remember something, frowning softly.

"If I'm correct, Severus, you once said the same thing. That Hufflepuff was _the house of shame_ ".

"But that doesn't mean that I want to torture every single one of them!" He replied coolly. "I mean… why you…?" He suddenly stopped and started pacing around the room. "I didn't know that you memorized every word I said!" "What are you implying with that!? That I approve this kind of behavior!?"

"I'm not implying anything. I was surprised to hear the same words from someone else, but I guess that every death eater thinks the same".

"But you forgot something, Minerva." Severus sneered. "I'm not a death eater _anymore_."

They stared at each other for a few seconds before the elder witch simply nodded, closing her eyes and pitching the bridge of her nose.

"I'm sorry, Severus". Minerva whispered, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes softly. "I was really worried last night. The boy had to be sent to St. Mungo and I thought the worst for a moment. Somehow I couldn't see myself writing a letter to his parents, telling them the reason why he died. It felt so… _difficult_ to do." "It made me think on Myrtle for a second. In Hagrid…" "But this time, Albus isn't here to help me with it."

He saw a few tears in her green eyes and couldn't help but feel impotent, turning his head to see Hermione Granger in bed and silently cursing that blasted chain of reactions that maybe he started after all.

"Everything will be ok, I suppose." Severus said softly, placing one of his pale hands in one of her shoulders, attempting to comfort her somehow. "I will talk to Alecto during the breakfast and try to convince her to stop this madness." "It will be something temporal, but maybe will give us a bit of time to figure out something else."

"Thank you, Severus." Minerva smiled for a second, turning around a little to look at him. "You know that we can't complain with Dolores about her behavior, because that terrible woman will find a way to twist every word we say and justify Alecto's actions."

He simply nodded, taking off his hand of her shoulder as she got up from the chair and walked straight to Hermione's bed. She took her wand out and casted a few spells to check her vital signs.

"Severus, could you wait outside for a moment please? I will perform some hygienic spells and I supposed that... she would prefer to have a bit of privacy."

Silence descended and Minerva thought in repeat herself, but then Severus nodded stepping away and closing the door behind him. The elder witch sighed deeply and smiled softly, trying to hold back a few tears.

"I seriously wish that this could be different, Hermione." She sighed again, pointing her wand at the young witch's body. "I'm sorry, Hermione." "I'm truly sorry."

She couldn't stop remembering the young and independent witch Hermione was and a broken sob escaped from her chest. Her tears fell over Hermione's forehead.

"I had to protect Potter… I promised it to her mother!" "I used to visit their graves every Halloween and now I have to visit Potter's grave too!" she tried to hold another sob, but failed. "And Weasley…" "You three were under my care and I failed as head of house, deputy headmistress…" "I failed on everything!"

Severus didn't want to violate her privacy but couldn't move as soon as she burst into tears and as much as he tried to stop it, he started to feel the same ache deep inside his heart. Like Minerva, he used to visit Lily's tomb every Halloween and now he had the terrible feeling of being the one who ended condemning her entire family.

He heard her steps and quickly crossed the room and patiently waited. He saw the shadows of tears in her pale cheeks and sighed deeply before saying:

"I have been wondering a few things before Poppy came last night." His eyes narrowed as he attempted to connect the ideas. "I have been brewing the same potion they were brewing years ago, dozens of times and always got the same result."

"And…?" Minerva said peering at him over her glasses, lips suddenly dry with expectation.

"I came to the conclusion that there had to be something else to cause this kind of… _side effect._ " He replied somberly, pointing at the young witch in bed. "I asked Longbottom about the potion and I seriously doubt that he could do anything to harm her." "He didn't have any reason back then."

 _He indeed spent a few nights brewing the same potion inside the cabin. If he remembered correctly none of the students that were there with her, had the same reaction to the potion and he couldn't understand why she was deeply asleep then._

"They were friends! They belonged to the same house!" She cried in exasperation, jerking him out of his thoughts, collapsing on the bed next to Hermione. Hands over her tights and sighing tiredly.

"And I'm wondering if Granger had anything to do with the accident."

"How so!? Why on earth would she want to end forever asleep!?

"I have been brewing the same potion in the last two years and nothing had changed." Severus frowned, glaring at her for a second. "There must be another factor that we haven't considered yet. I studied every ingredient alone and couldn't find any reason for her to not wake up."

"Do you think that she could cause it…? I mean… that she wanted to end like this?" She whispered, rubbing her forehead. "I can't even think in any plausible reason for her to end like this!"

"Whatever, isn't like I'm really interested in my students' lives." Snape replied shaking his head for a second, like if he were trying to say that it was a terrible idea. "Do you know how many girls from my house I have to listen every day, complaining about boys and other nonsensical things?" "You could think that Slytherin it's full of cunning and ambitious minds, but…"

"The only thing I remember was Poppy mentioning that Weasley and Granger had any sort of discussion and that she felt really sad about it. That she ended crying in the bathroom."

"I'm not exactly sure about this new theory I have, but I came to the conclusion that maybe the emotions of the recipient can affect the effects of some potions once inside the body."

"And how you…?"

"I haven't figured out that part yet, but I think that it's a solid idea and I'm willing to make some experiments."

"What do you mean!?" She whispered mortified, but Severus simply shook his head.

"I will need to make a few tests and then, find a way to revert the effect. But of course, I will need a new _subject_ to study."

"We can't just wait for another student to end depressed and then make him or her, drink an experimental potion to see what happens. That's extremely dangerous and I don't even want to think in what the parents will say about it!"

"I will find a way." He said somberly and she shivered with fear.

But before she could add something else, she heard a sweet _"Meow"_ and looked down at the cat brushing himself against Severus's legs. She couldn't help but giggle at the look of annoyance in his face, blushing softly again.

"Seriously… what's wrong with this damn cat?"

"I think that he recognizes you like the caregiver of Granger and it's starting to grow some kind of attachment to you. Funny because in the time I have coming to this cabin, he never followed me inside."

"Oh goodie!" He replied sarcastically, almost having to jump to not stand over his tail or any paw.

"Don't be so mean. I'm sure that you will end liking his company and that you two will be great friends."

He shook his head a couple of times, before adjusting his teaching robes and heading towards Albus's portrait that was the connection between Hogwarts and the Forbidden Forest.

"Good morning, Minerva. Severus…"

"Morning, Albus." She replied smiling softly and suddenly frowning a little. " _Everything ok_?"

"Everything ok." "Both of your quarters are empty and the headmistress is making her morning walk around the castle. I kindly suggest to you two, to go back as soon as possible."

"We were leaving already. Please send Hagrid to watch for Hermione, as soon as Dolores goes back to her office."

"I heard what happened to that Gryffindor student. Denis Dewey, right?"

"Yes. Alecto casted the Cruciatus curse and almost killed him. But thanks to Merlin she got bored of his _"anguished"_ cries of pain and kindly took him to the infirmary".

"Is he doing any better?" Albus asked compassionately and Minerva shrugged.

"I still have to owl St. Mungo and ask for him." "I have a meeting with his parents, that I secretly arranged and I will have a lot of problems if Umbridge finds it out."

"Don't worry, I will cover you." Severus said with a tiny twitch of his lips into a smile. "I will make her come to my classroom and supervise it for no reason. Maybe I can bring Granger's accident back and attract her to my class, to make sure that it's safe for the children."

"That would be nice, Severus. After finishing with the meeting and leading his parents to St. Mungo, I will send a student to your class with a code, so you will know that I'm back in the castle."

"How about: _The big fat pink bird has arrived?_ " Severus asked, grinning mischievously.

"Don't be silly! I'm pretty sure that she would understand that." She shook her head a couple of times but couldn't stop herself and laughed.

"Don't give her so much credit." The head of Slytherin added, shrugging. "Just say: _"It's done"_ and I will find a way to avoid her questions about it."

"Alright. Now, let's try to have a quiet breakfast for once."

Albus simply nodded and the portrait moved revealing a secret and dark passage, but McGonagall seemed a bit reluctant to cross it and leave Hermione alone. Severus softly squished one of her arms, trying to encourage her to continue.

"Granger will be fine; Hagrid will come as soon as possible. She hasn't been alone inside the cabin for longer than 20 minutes in the past two years. And if it helps, her cat will be here."

"Unless it gets killed..."

"Let's just be optimistic for once." Severus said a little too briskly.

"I can't believe it from you, Severus!" Minerva looked at him in absolute astonishment for a moment, her eyes widened. "That's from the man that usually sees the worst of everything!"

"Perhaps I'm spending too much time with Granger. That's what you get from associating with Gryffindor."

"Nah, I think that you're getting soft within the years."

"Soft!?"

Albus laughed out loud after the portrait returned to its place, listening to their friendly bickering while walking through the passage and back to the castle. Once they were back in Severus's quarters, Snape extended one of his arms to the elder witch and she took it, nodding her thanks and stepping out from the obscure hole.

"Well…" she mumbled. "Back to our regular duties."

"How fun!" The young professor replied sarcastically. "How fun indeed."

"Albus don't forget to visit Hagrid and tell him to stay with Hermione while we are here and as soon as one of us gets a bit of free time, will be heading back to the cabin."

"I'm on it." "Have a great day, Minerva. You too, Severus."

"I seriously doubt it, but thanks anyways." Both of them said at unison and then Minerva laughed softly again. "Oh… I seriously will miss this while teaching and giving Denis's parents, these horrible news about their son."

Severus nodded as they silently walked together through the Great Hall and finally taking separated ways, each other sitting in their regular spots for breakfast.

"Psst… Severus!" He could hear the voice of Sinistra, from one of the sides of the table. Umbridge wasn't there yet, so he inclined his head to listen. "How's Hermione? I was thinking in bring her some books, since I don't have any class today."

"I'm sure that she would appreciate it, I guess. She's alone at the moment and we need someone to stay with her while Promfey, Minerva and I are busy with our duties."

"Of course, of course! I will go as soon as I finish."

He wasn't exactly sure that Hermione could listen what they were saying, but every professor that knew about the accident had the hope that she actually understood every word they said.

"She's coming..." He heard Minerva whispering, next to him. "Don't mention the cabin or anything suspicious".

Every professor on the table nodded as the headmistress approached them with a huge and fake smile, followed by Alecto and Amycus.

"Good morning!" She said to every student and professor, but nobody paid attention to her words. "Lovely morning, isn't it?"

Severus couldn't help but notice that she seemed happier as ever, now that Potter, Weasley and Granger were _"dead"_.

He couldn't help but wonder if there was another prophecy to save the magical community and if it had to do with Neville Longbottom. He was the other child born to defeat the Dark Lord and that made him thought that maybe there could be another way of changing the future of the next generation.


	4. Neville Longbottom

**AN** **:** Well, here I go again. Please don't kill me if my English sucks even more than before. I still can't find a beta, buuu.

 ** _Neville_** **_Longbottom_**

He wasn't exactly sure that Hermione could even hear his words, but he followed Poppy's advice and started to read one of these books that Sinistra brought with her that morning. The woman sat in the opposite chair next to the young witch's bed and listened carefully at his words, while he was reading about magical myths and legends.

"Interesting theory about the origin of the sirens. Imagine all these captains getting lost in the middle of the ocean, just by hearing their hypnotic songs." After two paragraphs, Aurora smiled at him and deeply thought about it. "They were really beautiful for sure."

" _They_ _were_ _beautiful_ _indeed,_ but just to attract them to their traps, like most of the regular women do." Sinistra couldn't help and laughed loudly at his words while the man closed the book with just a little movement of his hand, letting it rest over his lap. "I think that it's enough reading for now." "Minerva should be heading to St Mungo at any second and I promised to keep an eye on Umbridge while she was out of the castle."

"You have to teach today, don't you?" the woman asked, placing one of her hands over Hermione's forehead and caressing it softly. "You will see that little girl today. The Hufflepuff's first year that Alecto tried to kill with the cruciatus curse".

"I suppose, yes". He curtly nodded, feeling a sudden heat running through his veins at the thought of that despicable woman, torturing students. "I will talk with Alecto about her teaching methods. I can't promise anything, but I will do my best to convince her to stop".

"Thank you, Severus". Professor Aurora got up from the chair and sadly looked at Hermione, deeply asleep in the middle of the bed. "I heard from Pomona, that the young girl feels really scared and started to skip classes, constantly reporting herself sick with Poppy."

"I guess that I will talk with her today, too". "Perhaps not the best idea since she fears me also, but Minerva will be really busy and I will have to cover her".

She nodded and walked into the living room, stopping in front of Albus's portrait and wondering if Snape knew how to give a motivational talk. The painting moved, revealing the dark passage of every day from the past two years and she told herself that maybe she had to give him more credit.

At the end, he had a hard time keeping all his multiple roles balanced and so far didn't betray the cause.

The potions professor followed her into the living room and before he could stop in front of the painting, he heard a strange sound coming from the outside of the cabin. The doorknob moved and Severus held one of his hands behind him, silently telling the woman to stay quiet while slowly taking out his wand from one of his pockets, immediately closing the curtains and pointing it at the door, ready to kill whatever was trying to get inside the cabin.

"Protect the witch". He whispered softly at the woman behind him, feeling his throat suddenly dry with anticipation. Minerva wasn't around so it wasn't her and she wouldn't use the front door. Hagrid wouldn't just politely knock and wouldn't use the front door either, and the centaurs wouldn't even try to enter without asking for permission first.

The movement on the doorknob ceased but Severus froze as he heard another soft knocking from the outside of the cabin.

"Merlin's beard! What are we supposed to do, Severus?" Sinistra asked, frightened. Her voice shaking a little.

"Fight. That's all what we are going to do." He murmured under his breath, eyes fixed over the door a few meters away from him. "Granger needs our protection and we can't let them know our secret". "Quickly! Inform Albus about this and stay with her. Cast as many protective charms as you can over the room and close the door".

"What the hell are you thinking!?" the woman whispered, mortified with the thought, but the Potion's professor merely shook his head as if he were trying to tell her to just shut up and follow his orders. She didn't saw that determined look on his face before and suddenly understood why Albus Dumbledore trusted him from the very beginning.

Aurora didn't had any other option but follow his command, calling the old headmaster through the painting and getting inside the dormitory, closing the door behind her and securing the walls with protective charms.

"Severus…" the portrait immediately said, but he didn't move. "What's wrong, my boy?"

"Someone it's trying to enter, Albus". "Sinistra it's already locked inside the dormitory, with Granger, casting as many protective spells as possible".

"I will let Hagrid know as fast as I can and tell him to look around for intruders".

"There is no time for that. The intruder it's already here and politely knocking". He replied coolly, thinking in just one possibility of solving the issue he had in hands.

He had to open the door and confront the intruder.

Severus started to walk to the front door without putting his wand down and suddenly feeling a rush of blood to the head, momentaneously dizzy. Year after year he had to stand in front of the darkness and survive, so he wasn't really scared at all.

 _But_ _a_ _little_ _worried_ _because_ _he_ _had_ _lives_ _under_ _his_ _care_ _which_ _he_ _had_ _to_ _protect_ _at_ _any_ _cost_ _._

He held his breath looking at his hand over the doorknob and about to turn it to confront the enemy, understanding that it would be a serious problem.

It would give him less time to react and more time to his enemy to cast a spell and kill him.

But he didn't have any time for second thoughts. He had to protect a woman and a young girl, so he better got it done before it was too late.

He pushed the door with one hand and immediately directed his wand against " _the_ _intruder_ _"_.

 _Well…_

He expected a fight. An army of death eaters or maybe Dolores Umbridge standing in front of him, finally finding out where his loyalties lay.

But he seriously didn't expect that.

"Longbottom…" Snape put his wand down, but refuse to put it back inside his pockets. After all, it could be a trap or something. "What in the name of Merlin are you doing here and how on earth you passed over our protective charms…?"

The boy seemed older than what he remembered and didn't have that frightened look which he used to have during his classes. There was a defiant look for sure, but he didn't have time to sit and chat with a depressed young _"_ _adult_ _"_.

"It seems that you have a security problem, professor". Neville replied without even showing any discomfort at his presence and being honest, he was a little taken aback by his bolder attitude. "The centaurs told me that you were here".

"These useless centaurs. They were supposed to keep the secret!" Severus complained, raising an eyebrow at the stupid turn of events.

"They already knew that I wasn't a treat. That I didn't come to cause any harm". The young man shrugged, staring deeply into his eyes. "I just wished to talk to you, if you don't mind of course".

Snape simply stepped backwards, letting the young man come inside and closing the door behind him.

If he wanted to talk, then they would sit and talk.


End file.
